Moxification

Set a Guinness World Record - Enjoy a Better Web

http://www.spreadfirefox.com/en-US/worldrecord

Well, I did...

Well, I rang her and she wasn't there so I yelled at her answer-phone.

I told her that I was very, very upset and angry...

I told her that she was not welcome in our home...

Why? Well, a number of things...

Her asking us about contraception and her saying in stern tones 'because we don't want you back in 10 months pregnant again".

Her turning up at the house even though we hadn't made an appointment just because she hated the fact we preferred getting the baby weighed at the clinic rather than having her come round.

Scorning us and scaremongering because Casanova had 'dropped dramatically to the 50th centile' (from 75th) 2 weeks after his birth- even though the midwives had been delighted with his progress the day before and she knew I was breastfeeding and topping up (making the chart useless) and that he'd swallowed so much gunk at birth that he was still finding feeding a little hard going.

Her phoning constantly and trying insidious ways to get into the house.

Treating us like we have something to hide.

Ignoring the fact that we took him to the clinic every week to be weighed.

Her holding some forms of mine hostage till I agreed to see her rather than just signing them and giving them back.

There's loads more, and they might sound small but she was really pissing me and DH off - especially after we had all the rubbish last year with her predecessor who was just evil...

So, other crap was going on. I starting feeling kind of persecuted and tearful (sleep deprivation will do that to a girl) rather than enjoying my babymoon so decided to tell her a few things...

Anyway, today I got a letter...

"I have been made aware that, as a result of a phone call to the Health Visitors on Wednesday 21st of May 2008, you no longer wish any contact with them at your home.

While I acknowledge that you are witin your rights to refuse the service, I wish to stress that the staff would be more than happy to remain in contact with you should you wish to do so.

If you would like to discuss the matter... blah blah blah..."

Result!

I have to go out and do a few things this afternoon, but then I will be back to prepare my speech... well, they did want to discuss it further so I think it's only fair...

Just read this and had to share...

    Holby City actress Tina Hobley has just
    had a beautiful baby girl, Isabella. She
    talked to Hello! about it:

    "We had John Lennon's Working Class Hero
    playing in the background and everyone
    was relaxed."

    And where did this birth take place? The
    Portland Hospital, where it costs around
    10 grand for a private birth and is the
    favoured spot for the too-posh-to-push
    brigade. It's the maternity hospital of
    choice for the Beckhams, Claudia Schiffer
    and Prince Andrew and Fergie etc.

    Just what John Lennon had it mind.

.... Boisturiser. Face cream for men. You like it? Just thought I'd copyright it, lol.

This will go nicely with some of the other product in development in my range...

Formaldeglyde - lube for necrophiliacs...

The rest are still top secret :o)

xxx

I've been hating my new camera.

I'm not one that uses the word hate easily, but I have been really hating it.

Since Christmas, when we got it, it has been performing under par. A really crisp, clear and loads of mega pixels under par, but under par never the less.

Ever shot has this strange bluey grey hue that spoils everything and makes the world look drab and bland... not good.

So..

The photos of my girls first Christmas... rubbish

Photos of my girl's first birthday... rubbish

Bump pics from about 26 weeks... rubbish

Photos and video of the birth of my boy... rubbish

Photos of my boy's precious first few weeks on the earth... rubbish

Every shot I've taken with it... bloody rubbish...

Arses...

I thought it might be something to do with the fact it is always crap weather here so most pics are indoors - maybe it worked best in bright sunlight (or at least sunlight, this is Scotland afterall) but it didn't seem to make much difference when we had a few days of loveliness, so boy was I glad when I dug out my old faithful camera and started using that again.

At last I got some nice pics of my boy - hurrah.

Might as well sell the new one eh?

Anyway, after going to the wonderful Mabie Farm Park the other day and getting really pissed off because I'd given the new one another chance before putting in on eBay and the pics were, surprise, surprise, bluey grey and rubbish... I mean look at this peacock - its plumage was amazing (as seen on the right) not this crappy colour on the left!

I decided to investigate...

I realised that it had been put on some stupid setting by the people who reconditioned and sold it.

I changed said setting and suddenly life though the lens was full of colour.

Bollocks.

Maybe I should have read the manual properly.

But I was just so darned tired...

Trying really hard not to be mega pissed off about it...

At least I have piccies of my kiddies right, even if they are a funny colour...

Fed up to the back teeth of being forced to watch dance shows on TV (or at least overhear them cos I am watching them), my darling husband has invented a couple of his own.

The first, based on the minute and a half of a 'Dirty Dancing' TV show we saw where girls who really should know better tried to gyrate to a Xtina song, is Slag Tap. This is much funnier when you see him doing the dance and actions that he thinks should be on the trailer... Sadly he won't let me film him do it...

The second?

'So you think you're a slag?' *Ta da dada da, ba dada da da da*

Try singing it for yourself...

Darn, couldn't find a link to the theme tune but just sing the one to the show that is hosted by Cat Deely... ***Oooh, it let me do it now!***

Brings a whole new meaning to the phrase hot tamale train...

Hot Lunch Lord Lloyd Webber, Sir?